Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Lora Warming

I guess I’ve been stepping out of my emotional deep-freeze so slowly that I didn’t even notice that I’ve thawed.

First things first? Therapy is, without a doubt, saving my life. Without it, I don’t think I would have survived the last few months with and the continued onslaught of drastic changes. Since June, I’ve broken up with a partner, moved, started grad school, and found out that my mother has cancer. That’s a lot to deal with in 5 months.

The more subtle thing that therapy has done for me is what I want to talk about, because though it is subtle, it is very, very crucial to my being able to live a whole and happy life. Therapy has helped me crack through some very bitter layers that were calcifying around my soul. The process has allowed me to look at my self and others in new ways. It has brought me to today, a day in which I realized that I still believe in love and commitment and caring. I do believe that we can nurture both our own selves and others and not get lost in the process. I still think it is possible for people to be committed to themselves, to others, to living a full and examined and honest life.

Through some magical/alchemical process, I’m transforming despair into hope…and it is messy and tear-stained and sometimes full of laughter but it is real.