I had an epiphany last night, while sitting at Dee’s, having a beer with a friend. I am the only one who can get rid of my Ambivalent Douchebag Orbit (henceforth referred to as ADO). ADO is defined as the set of not particularly irritating though not particularly endearing or entertaining set of men that don’t want to actually establish a friendship or relationship with me, but would rather appear once every few months via text messages or weird face-to-face encounters and then quickly disappear again, only to show up a few months later.
I’ve been thinking about my ADO lately, as I just definitively ended a relationship with a person that would have qualified as an ADO member, but instead somehow managed to get into a relationship with me. M and I dated for three months, and it was pretty clear after the first month that he wasn’t all that into it…and yet, he never let the relationship go. I made a break with him about two weeks ago, and then we had a weird limping along phase, wherein we were deciding what we were going to do (yes, I know, this was rather stupid). This Thursday, it ended, and after the show of ridiculous idiocy that was part of our evening (and really, part of the overall mood that was our relationship) I made a decision to not speak to him again. No, I wasn’t going to entertain the idea of being friends with him- he was hurtful (sometimes outright malicious in word and deed), childish, and not particularly compelling; it was clear that there was nothing more that I wanted from him. Thus, getting home from our dinner and yelling match, I removed him from my Facebook friends list and my phone and sent him a text telling him not to contact me and wishing him well.
I woke up yesterday feeling FANTASTIC. It was so freeing, just being done with this half-assed relationship that, for the past two months, had served only as a drain on my time, feelings and attention. (Of course, a few more texts came in during the morning, and while I first attempted to reason with him, I finally stated that I wanted him to respect my wishes and let me be…and thus far, he has.) Yesterday felt clean and good and light. I wasn’t sad yesterday, and I’m certainly not feeling sad today.
So, last night, after I had a voicemail that was delivered at 10:30pm from an ADO member who thought it was appropriate to call that late to “watch a movie”, and while I was getting text messages from another one of my ADO members about meeting up at the bar (he never did show up…shocker!) I knew what had to be done. Today, I am deleting all of my ADO members from my phone, and blocking them in my Gchat, and finally doing what I should have done long ago- dropping the dead weight. These people are sometimes hurtful, often childish, and not particularly entertaining. I’m not getting much from them in the way of friendship, and they’re generally just a drain on my time, feelings and attention. Not worth it!
Now, I’m off to go have a great day sans my old, tired solar system. Ciao!
