Moving My Blog to SirenAfire.com

I have decided to move my blog over to my website, Siren Afire. Please visit me there!

Breath, Blaze, Blood, Bone: Invoking the Body Elemental

I had an absolutely wonderful time co-teaching the Breath, Blaze, Blood, Bone workshop with Pamela/Boneweaver at Grove of Gaia Fest today. For those of you that have my personal contact info in lieu of a Bone and Briar card: you can connect to the Bone and Briar website here and we are also on Facebook.

Getting Out of My Own Way

The Wookie formerly known as Kiki

J and I adopted a dog yesterday. She was called Kiki, but her new name is Wookie, as she is very reminiscent of Chewbacca.

At our first meeting, she seemed very hesitant and shy. She barked at J a lot, which made us wonder if she had a bad experience with a man in the past. Still, she came over to me and tried to squeeze between me and the wall I was sitting up against. She nuzzled her head into my leg and licked my hand and was so sweet and vulnerable. I know she had my heart in that moment, and I'm pretty sure she had J's heart, too.

Still, she had to get along with Porky, so we had a "meet and greet" for the two dogs yesterday. Porky seemed out of her element, but still responded well, while Kiki was obsessed with Porky. All signs pointed to this being a good match.

And still, I was very nervous. Adding a member to our family is a huge step, and adding a member that has a mysterious past is a bit of a gamble. Over the past few months, J and I had talked frequently about getting another dog, but were concerned about what that change would mean. You see, we had our routines down pat. We knew what to expect from our household, and it was difficult to comprehend what adding another bundle of fluff would mean for our day-to-day lives.

And yesterday, when we just decided to get Kiki, and just figure it out and make it work one day at a time, I realized that the aphorism works: I can jump and build my parachute on the way down. It is good to take a risk in the name of love and snuggles, and it is possible to get out of my own way and choose the life I want even if I don't know how it will work. Leaping into a Mystery is a grand statement of faith, is it not?

And I have a sneaking suspicion that life lived in this manner is not only possible, but also a pretty flippin' sweet life, indeed.

One day at a time, now with an added Wookie.

Power in Mystery

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I recently signed up to take a sacred branding class using spirit animals, created and facilitated by the lovely Kelly Eckert. And to be honest, I was somewhat skeptical at first, as I was thinking "Business branding? With spirit animals?" And I know, I know, you all are probably like "You of all people are skeptical about spirit animals?" but yes, even I have my moments.

But...

The class is really wonderful, and I'm getting a lot out of it. We did a guided meditation to find our spirit animal yesterday, and a totally unexpected ally came to me:  Fox. And Fox is really potent energy for me right now, and totally aligned with the changes I am making with my life and my Life's Work.

I keep hearing the phrase "crazy like a fox" in my head. I'm hearing that I need to be able to retreat and withdraw when I need to, to stay at the edges and observe. I am learning that Silence is Powerful, that there is Power in Mystery, and that I don't have to reveal everything. Revelation is something that can't be forced.

So, yeah, spirit animals for business branding - who knew it would work so well? I'm excited to see what the rest of this class will bring.

Are you working with something that is pushing your boundaries or running into your skepticism? How does it feel?

Gratitude

Today, I'm grateful for:

1. J, my lovely life partner

2. Porky, my four-legged-n-furry lovely life partner

3. Anne Lamott's Traveling Mercies

4. Gluten-free sugar cookies from Gluuteny

5. The perspective and distance that time can bring

The Wisdom of Pattern

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I really want to write something tonight, but I find myself at a loss, with no serious thoughts/observations of my own to share - though I will nudge you toward reading this amazing post by Danielle LaPorte on building a spiritual practice. (So good!)

I suppose I do have this to say:  I am grateful for the pause. The gears feel like they are in sync. Possibility is just around the corner.  And I know I won't feel this way forever, but right now, I have a needed break in the intensity that comes with growth and change. I have a moment to pause and reflect.

Sometimes, life feels right, and I get a moment to breathe a thank you to the gods.

There is time to reap.  There is wisdom in the pattern.

What part of the ebb/flow cycle are you in? How do you know?

The Good. The Bad. The Real.

You are sometimes radiant. You are sometimes stagnant. You are transient.

Put your self on display. Taste the real. Paint with all the colors in the palette.  

There will always be critics. The voice in your head is merely a soundtrack. What station do you listen to?

None of it matters. All of it matters.

Get your warpaint on for a life of love. Love is not for the faint of heart.

Walk the graveyard and ask, "Where should I be right now?"

Are you there? 

How about now?

Diving is Not Falling

Sometimes the leap is all that's left.

So go ahead.

Leap.

When Change Comes Slowly

Pick up the stones
one at a time.
Build your monument
toward the kneeling sky.

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.

This doesn't just apply to music:
 

We Want You!

Spring Is Coming. I Promise You That Much.

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Spring is coming.

You may not believe it, though you pray for it in your bones. You may not believe it, though you sing for it with your blood.

Get ready.

River Roberts, in her article The Courage of Spring, writes,

... when I truly thought about it, I realized that spring is far from young and fragile.  It takes great courage to crack through the ice and be that first crocus that peeks through the mounds of snow.  It takes strength to be the season that promises life after death.  When Persephone returns to the world of the living, it is not just the return of warmth and abundance that we celebrate–it is the courage and power it takes to make that journey back.

I know you have it in you.

Quotes for Waking Your Inner Badass

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Badass: of formidable strength or skill

I know I have an inner badass. I know this because some deep part of me grows stronger when challenged. I know this because a deep part of me resonates when I experience others living out loud, in a no-holds-barred way. A part of me wakes up that shouldn't have been sleeping in the first place.

I normally loathe Ayn Rand's work (let's just leave it at that.) I did, however, recently come across one of her quotes that, taken on its own and without any Randian context, fills me with badass energy:


"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me."

A Few More Quotes for Owning Your Inner Badass:

She's mad but she's magic. There's no lie in her fire. ~Charles Bukowski

Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be. ~Clementine Padford

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. ~Winston Churchill

Better to live one year as a tiger than a hundred years as a sheep. ~Madonna

Grow up and let anyone try to contend with the adult you. ~Margaret Cho

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish - and feed yourself. He's a grown man. And fishing's not that hard. ~Ron Swanson


Do you have a favorite badass quote? What awakens when you read it?

Wonder is Worthy Work

An Open Letter to Jane Kenyon

Jane, please-

It is possible to pick a flower and

not trip over the husk,

to squat in pure rejoicing

without looking forward

to the demise of the coffee cup

or the shards of your lover, broken on the floor.

Eat a sandwich.

Walk your dog.

Live your life.

Potential Energy

The seeds (sealed in a pocket
squashed in a small pot
with spongy, thirsty dirt
and simple instructions for planting,
a gesture, an idea of green)
surprise themselves and sprout.


I wrote both of those poems last year, during a shifting and fruitful time of my life. The first, "An Open Letter to Jane Kenyon," was written as I was reading Jane Kenyon:  Collected Poems. I remember very clearly being overtaken by both the beauty of her imagery and the depth of her depression. Jane Kenyon did suffer from depression, and to be clear, I do not mean to make light of that. Dealing with depression myself, I know that  does not allow the luxury of a choice of perspective. Thus, the poem has always felt awkward to me in that "What do you mean, writing to a depressed poet, telling her to stop being depressed? That's really insensitive!" kind of way...and still, something was there that I knew had truth.

April 12-14: Nettles to Nirvana: A Personal Practice Boot Camp

Many advocates of having a personal practice will smile serenely and say a practice will give you balance, personal peace, and enough Zen to cover your house. Yay for Zen wallpaper!

We will tell you that having an effective personal practice means reaching to your core, grabbing a handful of your deepest Self, pulling it out and examining it under a bright light.

Are you looking for a practice that will kick your ass? Transform you? Change your life? Then you need this! You need BOOT CAMP!

Join us for Nettles to Nirvana: A Personal Practice Boot Camp! (See what we did there? You'll still get your Zen wallpaper. It just may have some rips in it.) Our weekend intensive will take you on a deep and focused journey to develop and sustain a meaningful personal practice that will transform you, and thus your life.

Are you ready for Boot Camp?

About:

This is a Pagan spiritual intensive, but it is open to all that are open to working within a pagan context to achieve their spiritual goals. We will be exploring the 12 Wild Swans story to discuss the usefulness of personal practice, but to also work with the challenges that arise from serious, devoted and life-changing Work. By the end of the class, participants should walk away with a clearer sense of what they are looking for from a personal practice, knowledge of what methods appeal to them, a better sense of their personal blocks when it comes to sustaining Deep Work, and an opportunity to experience more clarity and focus for their personal journey.

Teachers:

Amoret: A Feri/Reclaiming Witch, Amoret’s passions are the search for Truth and Desire, co-creation and manifestation, community building, ecstatic ritual, poetry, divination and whatever good book has currently captured her attention. Committed to teaching in the Pittsburgh pagan community, she brings her experiences in leadership training, small group facilitation, personal transformation work, tarot, trance techniques, and ritual arts to the teaching table.

Boneweaver: I followed a fairly generic Pagan path until meeting members of my spiritual family and focusing on Reclaiming/Feri. I've been in a variety of leading and teaching roles within the Pittsburgh Pagan community for about a decade. I am an optician by trade and an artist by desire. I work the edges between life and death and shadow work calls me (sometimes calling me Silly Names). I value a sense of humour and a sense of purpose. I seek those who are seeking me.

Time Commitment:

The intensive will begin at 7pm on Friday, April 12th and run through 1pm on Sunday, April 14th. On Friday evening, we will come together and bond through discussion of the story and a trance to start our journey. On Saturday, it gets personal. We focus inward to discover and then outward to manifest as we weave the story throughout the day, breaking as appropriate for restful reflection and informal discussion. On Sunday morning, we will reconvene for wrap-up and farewell, our boot camp asses having been kicked.

Friday: 7pm-10pm

Saturday: 10am-9pm

Sunday: 11am-1pm

Location:

Pittsburgh, PA; traveling participants welcome

Requirements:

- An open heart

- A sense of humour

Cost:

A "you decide" sliding scale of $75-$150 includes the weekend of instruction and supplies. You decide where you fall on the scale, no explanation needed.

To Register:

Send an email to Amoret and Boneweaver at witches2brew@gmail.com. A non-refundable deposit of 50% of the workshop fee will be due on registering, and is the only way that we can hold a space for you. Registration and full balance must be received by March 31st. Payment should be made via Money Order. Please contact Boneweaver and Amoret at witches2brew@gmail.com to arrange payment.

Because we wish for The Work to reach all who are called: if the sliding scale is out of your reach but you wish to attend, please contact us privately at witches2brew@gmail.com. Limited partial and full scholarships available.

Though we do not anticipate this occurring, if for any reason the class would have to be cancelled full refunds of monies paid will be given.

DEY: Do Everything Yourself?

Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
~ Mary Oliver, The Summer Day

Pinterest would have me believe that I should be doing everything myself. Quite literally, everything.

Make your own body wash from a $1 bar of soap. DIY nail polish, lip scrub, wallpaper. Dress up your power cords with this one easy trick. 10 ways to use old pennies.

I hear a whisper: If it is worth doing, it must be done by you. Every aspect of life should have a creative fingerprint mashed into it. Every.Last.Aspect. 

I ask myself:

What makes a task meaningful? What is just distraction?

What is worth my precious life?

Have Your Cake and Eat It Too

From the very beginning, I have eaten the damn cake.

I love reading Kate Fridkis' blog, Eat the Damn Cake. She writes about body image and beauty culture and, through those lenses, personal worth.

Today, I saw her post, "Women's Work," and I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop thinking about the power of one negative comment. I can't stop thinking about how easy it is for an outside opinion to touch and taint a perspective.

It's interesting to watch the humans goad one another into lives that I'm pretty sure nobody wants, lives consumed with constant work and climbing.  As Kate writes,

I am realizing more and more that I am intensely afraid of appearing to not be throwing myself into my career, the way every self-respecting, educated, enlightened twenty-something woman should be. God forbid, I should look as though I am not doing enough. God forbid I should fail to scramble up higher and higher on the ladder of life until my accomplishments speak so clearly for themselves that I never again need to explain that, yes, I am working. I am always working.

Because You Mean Business

Cast yourself. You are the spell. ~ T. Thorn Coyle, Evolutionary Witchcraft

I was drinking my coffee this morning, reading Danielle LaPorte's 17 Declarations On Business Life, and it brought some things to mind:

It's interesting to contemplate "business life."  What does that really mean (can't it mean many things?) If you were to go to a dictionary and look up the word business, you would find many definitions. I particularly like:

- purposeful activity
- mission
- creation, concoction
- maximum effort
- and, of course, "a bowel movement, used especially of pets" (though it really doesn't fit in with today's discussion; still, funny stuff, folks)

I want my whole life to "mean business." After my Reclaiming Initiation, a friend asked what the purpose of Initiation was, and my response was "I want to show myself that I mean business." So yes, I love these ideas Danielle LaPorte has put forth, not just for "business life" but for my I Mean Business life.

As I was looking through her list of 17 declarations, one really knocked me on my ass. It was toward the bottom, but I would launch it right up to the top. This declaration is the one that I think is a most important and fundamental step toward the I Mean Business life:

Show up as yourself.

Danielle goes on to say that people are dying inside because they are not showing up, and I know this to be true, from lived experience. I have a past that is heavily flavored with trying to hide, with trying to fit into a smaller space, with trying to numb out and not be present. And though it often feels like the answer to a lot of problematic parts of life (a job that isn't fulfilling, a relationship that has run its course, a spiritual group that requires more conformity, less audacity) I can tell you this:

Not showing up only leaves your truth out of the equation. The problem is still there, you are still there, but with less than all of your vibrancy, your singularity, your presence and your faculties and your true skills.

If you only show up with the tools that everyone else has, there won't be an aha moment. Bring your weird to the table, it will make a difference.

If you are numbing out, you are only bringing your dull and rusty tools. Keep your sharp edges- it's hard to dig a new path without them.

If you are being small, you aren't making anyone comfortable. Bring your real self and shine big. If we witness liberation, we know liberty as possibility.

I love how Danielle puts it: "So if you're You - at the meeting, at the club, on the bus, in love - well, then that would make you automatically exceptional." And Thorn gets it, too, in her challenge to cast yourself. You are an energy that has manifested here, now, to be. To Fully Be. Because You Are Needed. Because You Are Necessary.

Because You Mean Business.

Save the Date: April 12-14, 2013 for a Spring Spiritual Intensive

Save the date: April 12-13-14, 2013 for a Spring spiritual intensive to jump start your personal practice!

Many advocates of having a personal practice will smile serenely and tell you this means you will have balance, personal peace, and enough zen to cover your house. Yay for zen wallpaper!

We will tell you that having an effective personal practice means reaching to your core, grabbing a handful of your deepest Self, pulling it out and examining it under a bright light.

Are you looking for a practice that will kick your ass? Transform you? Change your life? Then you need this! You need BOOTCAMP!

Join us for Nettles to Nirvana: A Personal Practice Bootcamp! (See what we did there? You'll still get your zen wallpaper. It just may have some rips in it.) Our weekend intensive will take you on a deep and focused journey to develop and sustain a meaningful personal practice that will transform you, and thus your life.

Are you ready for Bootcamp?

Requirements: 
- an open heart
- a sense of humour

Cost:
A "you decide" sliding scale of $75-$150 includes the weekend of instruction and supplies. You decide where you fall on the scale, no explanation needed. Because we wish for The Work to reach all who are called: if the sliding scale is out of your reach but you wish to attend, please contact us privately at witches2brew@gmail.com. Limited partial and full scholarships available.

Location:
Pittsburgh, PA; traveling participants welcome

(A full class description will soon be available. For more information, email witches2brew@gmail.com.)

Well Used Anyways

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"Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in."
 ~ Leonard Cohen, Anthem

Sometimes Most of the time, it doesn't get to be exactly what you want. Oh, it gets to be close to what you want. It can be most of what you want, but generally speaking, there's going to be that inch that you didn't expect or anticipate or want or need or whatthefuckever.

And I say: who cares.

I am very much a person that can be stopped in my tracks by what I perceive as a lack of perfection. I am that person that doesn't want people to visit my home because I haven't cleaned every surface free of dust, or because I don't have awesome snacks. I am that person that is so very anxious about having children, because so many things could go wrong or not be to my liking. I am that person that has awesome clothes in my closet that I rarely wear because I don't think my average day is a great enough occasion to warrant that awesomeness.

And that's not terribly participatory of me, is it? I find it to be somewhat withholding, at the very least. So I am beginning to get stains on the "nice" clothes on an average Saturday. I am having people over, apologizing for the mess once, and figuring that the people that matter will love me anyway. And if I end up being uptight again in a few months, that's just life, too, and perfectly ok. I'm sure I'll notice.

I am remembering.

It's all cracked, you see. We're all playing on the same game board, and we're all bumping up against one another and doing weird things and we all mess all of it up to a degree. And that's not only ok, it is perfectly right. We are only here for a short time; therefore, it is good to be reminded, on occasion, that there is a reason that we are here, and it is not to stiffly and formally fold ourselves up on a shelf, waiting for life to happen. We have come here to be alive, right now, just like this. We have come here to make Divine Mistakes That Are Also Answers. We have come to breathe and be present through the shit, the muck and the mire and to come out the other side. We have come to sing and to laugh and to cry and to fold up into the fetal position and rock ourselves to sleep. We have come to spill spaghetti sauce all over our nice dress on an average Wednesday and decide that spontaneity is for other people. We have come here to love, and to witness others in their weird humanness. We have come to do all of this, to be beautifully broken and well used anyways.

We have come to be danced. Never forget that.

So, my friends: remember, remember, remember.

The Art of Redefining the Indefinable

I enjoy Anne Hill. I don't know that anyone else would be able to unpack a phrase as loaded as "the art of changing consciousness at will" in such a sane manner. But she has, and has also determined that magic is a way of living, on top of being a right-good paradox, and I do agree, oh yes, I do.

To Know

Today, I want to feel that I'm blossoming.

"Knowing how you actually want to feel is the most potent form of clarity that you can have. Generating those feelings is the most powerfully creative thing you can do with your life." ~ Danielle LaPorte, from "Session 3: The Strategy of Desire," The Fire Starter Sessions

So how do you want to feel today? Pick out one feeling, write it down, draw it, put it up in a place where you can see the words or the image. Put it over your computer or on your refrigerator or on your bathroom mirror.

Put your desire in your line of sight.

Now identify one thing you can do today to generate that feeling...one small thing.

Last step: go do that one small thing. I dare you.

Daring

"Quit resisting your greater good...Dare to trust the bigger plan. Open your heart wider. Allow grace to flow through you and out into service. You were not put here to be cowed by circumstance." ~ Cash Peters

Time Is On My Side: Yes It Is

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Today began with an anxiety attack.

You see, today was the first day I didn't have to go to work in six days. I slept in, which was lovely, and reconnected with my partner and my little dog, and then...well, I had the time to really give attention to my surroundings. I looked around my apartment and thought about all the things that I Needed To Do and that I Should Be Doing (imagine quite the list of chores and cleaning inserted here) and I flipped out, because really, I wanted to just Sit and Read and Be but I was clearly on a warpath toward being cranky and anxious for the rest of the day because there just wasn't enough time in the day to do all the shoulds and the wants.

But what happened next was Magic. What happened next was this:

And the pieces begin to fall together...

The call to change has been coming to me, in bits and pieces of desire that, at first, appeared to be all over the map.

After a wonderful Feri weekend, I decided to start an art open house a few weeks ago. I've been burning up to connect artists and make space for more creativity to blossom around me.

And then, inspired by Anne Brannen, I have been dipping my toes into Danielle LaPorte's Desire Map; specifically, I have been thinking about how I want to feel in my life, and working from there to identify where I'm going and how I want to get there. I've identified that I want to feel: Fed. Calm. Present. Self-Possessed. Energized. Charismatic. Honest. Powerful.

And last week I asked my partner, a talented graphic designer, to whip up a logo and some stationery. On a whim, just a whim.

And then today, I just contacted a web designer to get a price quote for a website for my spiritual work.

Right after sending off the email to the designer, it hit me:  I am stepping forth to do what I love. These steps that seemed to be random are not so random after all.

Hmmm. Interesting. Appropriate. Aventure.

Remembering

Nothing has broken
the convex lens of my heart;
my breath comes easy,
Royal, expanding past
these meager borders.
No storm shall crack this compass.

Let it In, Let it In

I try to give every year a motto. I learned this habit from my wonderful friend DHG a few years ago when she first told me of her 'Year of the Cracked Pot'.

2013 revealed it's motto to me quite early. I woke up one morning and realized that this was the year of Accepting All Gifts.

Dangerous, yes. Exciting, definitely. Who knows what is lurking in the Mystery Present.

In 2013, I will find out.

The following have already shown up:

Gifts Accepted in 2013:
1. Revelations and Divine Intercessions
2. Potent Rages that have lead to Big Changes and
3. A free dining table

I plan to keep a running list of the wonders of the Mysterious Present.

What's your motto for 2013? Does it scare you just a bit?

It's Been A Long Time!

Sorry, my dear, dear blog. I have neglected you for a long while. In my defense, there was a lot of stuff going on!

Right now, I'm inspired and inflamed in all the right ways. My heart feels like it is on fire, and things are shifting quite rapidly. I am starting an artist's group, Flaming Heart, that meets once a month to work on the art that feeds. I am doing more ritual. I am planning a class focused on developing meaningful personal practices. My honey and my doggy are doing well. 2013 has started with a bang, and feels Very Different from 2012.

Today, I'm loving the little bits of wisdom that the fabulous Danielle LaPorte has compiled here. Read them, I'm sure you will love them, too. I am really in this place today:

Affirmations are like screaming that you're okay in order to overcome this whisper that you're not. That's a big contrast to actually uncovering the whisper, realizing that it's a passing memory, and moving closer to all those fears and all those edgy feelings that maybe you're not okay. Well, no big deal. None of us is okay and all of us are fine. It's not just one way. We are walking, talking paradoxes. -Pema Chödrön, Start Where You Are

What place are you in today?